Monday's Suck!

Hello Blog World!!!!

I am sorry that I have been remiss in tending to my blogging garden, aw hell lets be real this garden is freakin dead y'all..lol..Well I am back and I thought instead of regaling you with my usual life wisdom's and sometimes ramblings, I would entice you with a little short story I wrote for a contest put on by the Indie Chicks, an online women's magazine.  I have not delved into the world of short story writing since I don't know, high school maybe, so be kind will ya with your comments! ;)  ENJOY!!!

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Monday’s Suck!

The blaring alarm clock pierces Charlotte’s eardrums, jarring her from her much  needed slumber. She reluctantly rolls over and smacks the snooze button with  all the strength she can muster. “Dear God, it is too early” she mutters into her deflated pillow. Charlotte takes one last sigh and rolls over, throws the duvet off of her pajama clothed body and gets herself out of bed, takes a stretch and a yawn and shuffles herself off to the bathroom.

Charlotte takes a look at herself in the mirror, her hair is disheveled, her mouth tastes like the bottom of a birdcage, and she has smeared and partially worn off make-up with a small bit of some unknown crusty goop in the corner of her eye. In the upper right hand corner of the mirror there is a little post it note with the quote “40 is Fabulous!” hand scrawled across its beaming yellow hue. Charlotte while rubbing her eye reads the inspirational post it and takes another look in the bathroom mirror, blinks a couple of times at the image reflecting back at her and begins to chuckle and mutter, “Yup I’m fucking fabulous alright.” She shakes her head, opens up the medicine cabinet, pulls out her toothbrush and tooth paste and begins to brush her teeth. Charlotte gets ready for her day.

Charlotte runs down the stairs trying to button up the last of the buttons on her dress shirt. She rushes into the kitchen and pours herself a cup of much needed coffee. She takes a look at the clock on the microwave, “Fuck I’m late!” Charlotte puts the lid on her travel mug, grabs her coat, purse and keys and runs out the door.

Charlotte is speed walking her way to the bus stop. “Man I really need to work out more” Charlotte thinks as her wobbling thighs and buttocks burn. Behind her she can hear the rapidly approaching familiar chugging and whirring sounds of the Number 9 bus. “Aw man not again” Charlotte breaks into her signature flailing chicken run of terror. Loud grinding and whirring sounds hunt, overtake and leave Charlotte in the dust or more literally in the drink; a cold splash of muddy puddle water leaves her drenched. “Are you effing kidding me!” Charlotte screams as she reaches the bus stop out of breath and clearly irritated. The Number 9 bus is still loading its passengers. Charlotte dripping wet and pissed off steps onto the bus and glares at the bus driver. “Oops, sorry about that sweetie” The bus driver says with a bit of a chuckle. Charlotte beyond irritated, “First off, I ain’t your fucking sweetie, second off George, you’re a dick, get over yourself, you’re a fucking bus driver not a brain surgeon!” “Excuse me I am NOT a bus driver I am a Transport Technician” Charlotte wipes her face with her soggy sleeve, puts her fare in the fare box and leans into George and says, “Oh that is right I forgot a Transportation Technician, translated means, I have a small dick so I must overcompensate by driving the biggest piece of crap machinery known to man.” Charlotte drops the last of the coins in the fare box and takes her ticket. George shakes his head and mutters “Bitch” Charlotte mutters “Dick” and walks back to her seat.  Charlotte plops down next to an unsuspecting middle aged male passenger quietly reading his newspaper. As Charlotte sits almost in defeat the man looks up from his paper, Charlotte is still dripping wet and still panting from running. The man looks at Charlotte in puzzlement. Charlotte casually looks over at the man, wipes water dripping down her face with her sleeve and gives the man a cordial half smile and says “Hey, whatcha reading, anything worthwhile in there?” The man still puzzled at her very wet and distressed attire, stares at Charlotte and blinks a couple of times before replying, “Oh you know, same old, same old, death, destruction, falling economy, who is Lindsay Lohan screwing.” Charlotte replies, “Cool” They both awkwardly turn way from each other.

The bus ride is bumpy and filled with smells that should only be manufactured during wartime in a top secret facility and not coming from within the human body. Finally, Charlotte sees her stop and rings the bell. She gets up and begins to walk to the front of the bus, suddenly out of nowhere George slams on the brakes and Charlotte goes flying and lands in the sturdy lap of an attractive, dark haired, dark eyed well dressed man. The man is texting; Charlotte is now sitting on said phone. “You gotta watch that first step she is a doozy” Charlotte sheepishly says with an awkward laugh. The man just blankly stares at her. Just then, the phone wedged underneath Charlotte’s butt and the man’s lap rings. Charlotte casually reaches underneath her posterior and yanks out the damp cell phone and hands it to the man, “Gives new meaning to butt dialing huh” Charlotte says with a nervous laugh. The man gives Charlotte an awkward smile. “Can you get off of me now, I have to take this” Charlotte grabs the pole and rolls herself off of the man, pulls down her skirt and staggers her way to the front of the bus. George is laughing. Charlotte glares and mutters “Dick” George continues to laugh, “Watch that first step now, it can be a doozy” and continues to laugh.Charlotte mocks George with a fake laugh and exits the bus. She looks down at her watch, “Shit I am so late!” Charlotte proceeds into her flailing chicken run.

The blaring and piercing ring of the alarm clock awakens Charlotte from her much needed slumber. Charlotte looks at the clock and decides to throw it across the room. Charlotte rolls over onto her stomach and mutters into her deflated pillow, “Dear God, it is too fucking early!” Monday’s always come too fucking early.

Critical Thinking: Has Our Society Lost It?

Kony2012, by now all of you know or have heard of the Kony2012 viral video and its subsequent backlash and public humiliation of its filmmaker Jason Russell. Now before you jump on the for or against Kony bandwagon let me make clear this is not what this blog is about.
Like many of you I too participated in the spread of this video. I too had the infamous knee jerk reaction to its carefully edited albeit overly simplified humanitarian message and I hit the share button. I believe in the effort to raise awareness and the subsequent upsurge of youth joining forces to unite and actively participate in grassroots activism. By hitting the share button I too felt positive about helping be part of the catalyst to spread awareness of human rights violations occurring in Uganda. However, once I sat back and saw the surge in popularity of this video, It made me ask myself, besides this video what do most if not all of us really know what is actually going on in this foreign country? Have any of us done any research so that we maybe better informed to make an informed decision to participate in spreading awareness concerning an individual we virtually don't know anything about. The answer was no, we hadn't.
Is Joeseph Kony a bad person, by all accounts and purposes, yes he is. Will simply getting rid of him fix all of the issues surrounding the violence and abuse being orchestrated by the LRA, no it will not. The issues going on in Uganda and now the Congo are very complex. A virtual civil war has been raging in this country for many years, how do I know this, I did some research.

The landscape of journalism and media has forever been altered due to the onslaught of the Internet and the subsequent ever reaching popularity of social media. We no longer rely on newspapers or news stations to get our world news, no we log onto Facebook and Twitter to do that. This has become a double edged sword. The instantaneousness of information is amazing and plentiful. However, how much is too much? We are constantly being bombarded with information and images that our attention spans have dwindled to almost nothing, if you don't get my attention in a few seconds, I'm moving on. It is almost like we have become numb, we actively try to filter out only the information that we assume pertains to us and ignore those that do not. Secondly, many if not almost all of us casually press send/share to videos and links and photos that are posted on social media outlets, without actively viewing them in their entirety, innocently believing them to be true without any verification to its authenticity. Where has our critical thinking gone? Many of us just accept things at face value as truth, after all if it's on the Internet it must be true right?

Consequently, you and I are now becoming the "journalists" of society, yet we are not held to the same level of ethical standards as actual journalists are. So I beg the question, should we be held to same journalistic standards and if we break these should we be held accountable just as a journalist would? It is an interesting quandary. We live in a society where there in essence are no safety nets shielding and sifting through the garbage to reveal to us to what the actual "truth' is. Are we equipped as individuals to do that job on our own? I think we are, ONLY if we are prepared to do the work, ie research to find it. It clearly seems we are living in a Brave New World, doesn't it. xxxoo

Turning 40 Is The New Black Right???

At least that is what I am telling myself anyways. This year I am turning 40 years old, the big 4-0, middle age, over the hill, getting ready for the inevitable dirt nap. Ok, ok those last couple were a little extreme but I have to say it kinda is how I am feeling. I don''t know why this birthday is affecting me the way it is, but it is. I think a major part of it is I am not nearly anywhere near the accomplishments I assumed I would have achieved by this impeding age milestone. I thought I would be married or at least in a loving committed relationship, a couple of kids, own my own house and have a thriving career in the film industry. Sounds easy and achieveable right? Well, nope to all accomplishments.
I guess I am feeling a bit defeated, kicked around by life a bit. I know, I know, calling pity party for one, pity party of one. I know that age is just a number and you are only as old as you feel, I get it, I really do, I am just not feeling it right now that is the problem. I guess what I am trying to say is I need to come up with a new set of goals and accomplishments I need to accomplish and not dwell on ones that have passed for now. New goals and new perspectives that is what I need. But how do I go about getting it?
First off I am in the process of making an about face and starting a brand new career hopefully in public relations if I get accepted into the Continuing Studies Program at Simon Fraser University. So, new career goals, check. I have started a new exercise and eatting healthy plan so I can be happier and healthier in myself and my outlook, check. This new found outlook will allow me to be open to meeting a new somebody, and possibly that special someone, check. So here's hoping the universe is listening to what I am putting out there. Life really is about the journey isn't it. Well thus far this journey has many twists, turns, bumps, obstacles and forks. It definately has made my crazy life interesting, frustrating and rewarding. I honestly, wouldn't of had it any other way. This life maybe crazy, but its my life, all of it, good the bad and sometimes the ugly. It has helped to shape and mould me into the woman I am today. The crazy, spontaneous, emotional, unpredictable, funny, sassy and beautiful approaching 40 year old woman. So come on universe get your fire extinguisher ready, 40 lit candles is quite the blaze. But this time instead of quickly blowing them out, I am chosing to bask in its firey glow. xxoo

"Self Sabotage" My Oldest But Not So Dearest Friend

Just when I think I have a handle on my life, career, weight, relationships...WAMMO self sabotage stops by to rear its ugly head. I have focus, direction and a path as to where I want and need my life to go but I just can't seem to get from point A to point B. I have the greatest of intentions and desperately want to fulfill them but I constantly fall back on old self destructive patterns. Take my weight for example, I was successful in losing half of the weight I put on during my depression and self loathing, but that hit a stand still for quite sometime. I got comfortable and again I stared eating foods I know I shouldn't have and lost the drive to workout and came up with any and all excuses I could think of. The result I have put back on 15 pounds of the 35 I lost.
Now lets take my screenwriting, I have been "working" on my first feature length script for the past 2 years. I put working in quotation points because really it is more something to procrastinate and put to the side then something I have been actively working on. Now if this is something I believe I am passionate about why do I allow other forces to deter me from completing and successfully pursuing them?
Is it that I feel I don't deserve success or is that I am afraid of it? Failure does suck but in a twisted kind of way it is comfortable to me, its what I know. What am I afraid of? I thought after taking these last four years of introspection and self reflection I would have delved into and discovered just about every nook and cranny of my inner most thoughts, feelings, fears, likes, dislikes etc, but apparently I'm wrong. I must say I am kind of at a lose right now as to what direction I need to go in to finally slay these last dragons of self doubt. I guess what I can take from this is that maybe it is never over. This is going to be a life long struggle and battle within myself. Gone are the days when I would scrap my knee or bruise my arm and my Mother would come in and kiss it better and make me homemade chocolate pudding to make things all right with the world again. No today, I need to put on the shiny armor, sharpen my mighty sword and muddy myself slaying these dragons of fear and self doubt all on my own, wish me luck.

Intrawebs..Friend or Foe to Interpersonal Relationships

As my previous blog post demonstrated I am trying to focus and create a more regimented manner in which I am creative. First off I am going to try and write a blog at least once a month, I know that dosen't sound that daunting but for me it actually is, so here goes.

While it being the Canadian Thanksgiving this past weekend I always try to sit and reflect on what I am most thankful for, of course family and friends are at the top of my list. However, the landscape of my friendships I have noticed has changed quite significantly over these past few years. I have created or established a wide array of friendships globally due to the use of the Internet. Through various social media sites, like Myspace, Tribe.net, Twitter and Facebook, various chat rooms and the like, I have been able to meet, chat and develop quite amazing friendships with people I have never met. Whether it is through music, film, political affiliations or charitable causes we happen to be associated with, we have been able to find and forge a common bond and thus a relationship. This rises the question, since we are hiding behind the safety of the computer screen and never actually having a physical interaction with said person can this still be considered a "real" relationship; I think yes and no.

Yes, I believe that these relationships are real. I open up and talk openly and honestly with these people with no immediate fear of being rejected or dismissed because I am sitting behind this computer screen and am thus shielded. I am able to let my guard down and actually be the "real" me to whomever I am conversing with. It doesn't matter what I look like, or what car I drive, or how much square footage my house is, when I am clicking my thoughts down on the computer keys I am me. Without the tool of the Internet I would never of had the opportunity to meet, interact, learn and grow with and from these people because of sheer geography. Information sharing, learning about new cultures and different ways of living and seeing the world has allowed me to grow and evolve as a woman and a human being. Well that is how I am anyways. I have been able to physically meet some of these amazing people and have been able to take these friendships to another level because of it.

On the other side, if one is using the Internet to create a persona or version of themselves because their self esteem is so low they think that they could never be the "real" them for fear of being rejected or made fun of , then this is a negative. When a computer screen and animated characters are replacing actual one on one interactions with anyone, this is where technology is a detriment. We as human beings NEED social interaction to function and have a sense of belonging. If we feel like we do not belong we feel disenfranchised and alone. If our only sense of belonging exists on the Internet and not in the outside world this is where a tool used to connect us does the complete opposite. So I guess what I am trying to say like anything in life, one can only get out of anything what they put into it. Like any tool mankind has created in the light of advancement, be sure not to let its bright lights and pretty buttons blind side you as too what is really important in this life, authentic friendships and genuine love. xxoo

Consistently Inconsistent

Well here I go again not writing for months on end, well at least I am consistent with it right? But like I wrote in one of my blogs my inspiration can be fleeting and few and far between. But you know what, I think that is actually an excuse that I have been hiding behind. What I lack is discipline and focus not inspiration. There is an artist that is living inside of me, but this artist has not been allowed to grow and blossom. I have kept her small, immature and flakey. I can manage her when she is like this, she will not challenge me or force me to look deep inside and find my real truth. She will allow me to live wearing masks or illusions if you will. No my inner artist is like a misbehaving child, not wanting to listen, take direction or structure. My infantile inner artist must be wrangled in and taught how to grow, blossom and evolve into the mature, interesting, creative woman that I already know how to be.

So here goes, I Dina Arsenault am going to make writing and creating a priority. No longer am I going to allow distractions and obstacles to impede my will and need to create. Creativity will be a priority and no longer will I allow negative thoughts of my inadequacies and misgivings to impede my journey of creation and self discovery. They say if you put positive things out into the universe, it will come back to you, here's hoping.

The Personal Benefit of The Cherry Blossom Benefit

Once again I have been very lax in my blogging, sorry followers ;(

As some of you may know recently I organized a benefit fundraiser to raise money for the Red Cross to help those in Japan. After the catastrophic earthquake and subsequent tsunami that hit the shores of Japan on March 11th I was left with feelings of helplessness and sorrow. Seeing all of the horrific images of devastation I was so overwhelmed and consumed with grief. What kept popping up in my sub conscience was "what can I possibly do to help these people, these people on the other side of the world?" You have to understand I am a doer, if I see something that needs to be done, I take a course of action, roll up my sleeves and get it done. That is how I work. This situation had me second guessing myself and my abilities, what impact could little old me have on such a devastating occurrence? This had me thinking, "I can't be the only one who feels this way, there has to be others who are feeling the same as I am, right?" So I put it out there, out there on Facebook, I posed the question, Who would like to help me figure out a fundraiser of sorts to help those in Japan? No sooner had I pressed send then people, wonderful woman immediately wrote back, "I'm in, what do you need me to do?"

The Cherry Blossom Benefit was born. Immediately me, and four beautiful, giving, compassionate, strong and funny women jumped into action and quickly brought together the event. We had bellydancers, a silent auction and a 50/50 draw. As the night was drawing closer, most would have feelings of nervousness and anxiety, Would anyone actually come? Is this even gonna work? Ironically I actually became calmer and more at peace. You see in my eyes we had already succeeded. We, a band of women joined together in our community to help another community on the other side of the world. Not to have praise or to get anything out of it; no, just out of the sheer need and desire to give, to help those in need. So yes, "little old me" with many other "little old me's" were able to make a difference, an impact on something larger then ourselves. We were able to raise over two thousand dollars that evening. You see it has been estimated by the Red Cross that twenty dollars provides food and shelter for one person. We were able to provide food and shelter for over a 100 people. That to me is a success.

I am still in awe in how my community, dancers donating their performances, businesses donating goods and services to be auctioned off, men and women young and old coming out to take part in the evening to give not only with their pocketbooks but with their hearts as well, all generously joining together as one for no other reason then to merely pay it forward. The energy and the love in that room that night was electric, palpable in fact. That above anything else is what I will carry with me in my heart for the rest of my life. If you can take anything from my little post here it is this, do not underestimate the impact you have on one another. The mere act of smiling at someone, holding a door, saying hello or donating your time talking to someone in need has a profound impact. It truly does, but what I wasn't expecting was the profound impact it would have on me and how I will choose to lead my life in the future. Both my eyes and my heart have been opened and now my outlook has never been clearer.