My Life Is About To Take A 180 Degree Turn....

Crossroads really are a time of contemplation aren't they.  My life sure has had its fair share of them and now is no different.  As some of you may know I have been on a path of self discovery and reinvention for some time now.  Last year I decided to throw caution to the wind, quit my Administration job and went back to school and obtained my Public Relations Certificate.  I was fortunate enough to be given a contract by A Cue Creative Consulting, the PR and Brand Management Company I interned with.  These past 6 months have been a whirlwind of new experiences and confidence boosting work and client contributions.  But, life as we say is never that simple.  

Yes, I was moving in the direction of my new career choice and I was gaining confidence with every assignment, but something was still missing; family.  I am a BC transplant, I originate from Ontario and so does my entire family.  I have been blazing my own path for the past 13 years and I am very proud that I have been able to make my own choices and rely on my own strength, intelligence and fortitude to create my life on my own terms. 

Vancouver is a beautiful and vibrant city, full of art, nature and easy going lassiez faire attitudes.  Unfortunately, these wonderful attributes have made it next to impossible to financially get ahead.  Prices of day to day items, going out to eat, entertainment and not to mention real estate has doomed me to a life of a small apartment renter and lower middle class social status. Not to mention this trail blazing path has come at a bigger price, I have missed out on important birthdays, anniversaries and events in my ever growing families lives.  At what point do you decide what is most important in your life?

Well that decision is now for me, I have decided that I am going to move back to Ontario.  I want no I NEED to have a more work/life balance and the only way I can achieve this is if I move back.  Yes, I am going to miss the friends and city that I have grown to love and have become my family, my home away from home, but like the decision I made last year, I have to just throw caution to the wind and take that leap.  

With blind faith, I chose to take the path less traveled by and am excited and a bit scared as to what this new path will have in store for me.  What I do know is, I will have the love and support of my family to help me thorough it.  

Fortunately, my wonderfully supportive boss has extended my contract and I will have the amazing opportunity to continue growing and learning in my new PR path with A Cue Creative Consulting.  The beauty and luxury of having a virtual office! 

I look forward to rebuilding my past relationships and creating new ones.  On-wards and upwards they say and here I go into the abyss.

The Medium Is the Message or Is it?

Who knew that this many years later the infamous quote from Marshall McLuhan would still be ringing true today but with a bit of a twist.  “The medium is the message” was coined back in the 1970’s and back then McLuhan was trying to emphasize that the way we say something is more important than the words we use to say it, interesting and profound for that time.  Today, with the onslaught of the internet and more importantly the use of social media this profound notion has evolved even further, the medium itself has become the message. 

No longer do we turn to traditional avenues of information searching like newspapers, tv or radio; no we go to the internet now to get our news.  Recognizing how their readers and viewers are now consuming information, media outlets themselves have turned to social media to gather and present their news.  Those of us too busy to read an entire newspaper will turn to twitter and scan the posts and possible links from major media outlets to get our fill of the days happenings locally and globally.  In fact, when major news is breaking in the world it is usually twitter that will break it first.  This was the most evident during the Syrian uprising and citizen journalists were tweeting and posting videos of the rioting and mayhem when the country had put a ban on all media coming in and or going out.  So what does all this mean?

This means that the need to be immediate far outweighs the need to be accurate when presenting the hard news.  This means the ability to connect via the internet has replaced many individuals want for face to face interaction.  This means the avenues in which companies and individuals market themselves will be determined how their target audiences consume information.  This means the medium itself has become the message. 

Social media is an amazing tool and should be used as just that a tool of many to communicate and interact with individuals of any and all target audiences.  But we as consumers must also do our due diligence and understand that information presenting and consuming has forever been altered and how we chose to digest this information must change along with it.  This will continuously evolve as technology and the means in which we communicate continues to evolve.  Where will this end up?  I don’t have those answers but I do know I need to update my facebook status to contemplative.

Sometimes you just need to take a hike!

Well 2013 is upon us kiddies and it promises to be an excellent year!  You know I do say that at the beginning of every new year like we all do, wishing and believing that this year, yup this year is gonna be different.  Sometimes it is and sometimes it isn't but what I have learned in the few years on this earth is that how you perceive your life will determine how it actually comes to fruition.
If we are constantly believing that nothing is gonna change and your life is miserable then odds are it is gonna be. 
Sounds simple right, in theory it is but in practice that is a whole other ball game.  You see I lost this a little while back.  I was so wrapped up in the big picture of my new life path and journey that I forgot to remember the immediate happenings around me, the little things.  Like the feeling of the crisp autumn air on your face as you take a stroll outside, the sheer magnitude and beauty of a sunset over a waterway or the swooping and swaying of a bird gliding through the open sky.  These little things are just as important, they make you feel connected to yourself and the world around you.  In an age when we are always plugged in to smartphones, ipads, laptops and such we have become more fragmented and stressed not only with our loved ones but with ourselves.

I lost myself a while back, with working two jobs and trying to get this new path on track I let go of the one thing that used to bring me such peace and rejuvenation and that was my daily walk.  I used to walk everyday as a means of decompressing after a long day.  I would put on my walking shoes and my ipod and out the door I went, able to just "be" for those 30 minutes and just breathe.  These walks always left me with a feeling of relaxation and invigoration at the same time, it was like my own personal meditation.   I slept better, was more creative and just felt a spring in my step.  Well as time in the day became a premium, my walk was the first thing to go.  As a result, over time I became lethargic, tired, overwhelmed and a wee bit depressed.  My weight crept up and my general outlook on life diminished.  With this new path coming to fruition before me I still felt this sense of stress and despair, everything I had been working for was happening why wasn't I overjoyed???

Then the other day, my friend Nadine posted a letter that Michael Moore wrote on his journey over the last 42 weeks of taking a 30 minute walk everyday just as a gift to himself, not to lose weight or exercise but as just as a means to just "be". This got me thinking, when was I the most content and at peace in my life? The answer, when I was walking!!  These past few days I have taken up Moore's challenge to take a 30 minute walk everyday and already I am feeling a shift.  I was able to take in a breathtaking sunset over the fraser river tonight and see the fog gently caress the snow capped rockies.  I wonder what I will be able to witness tomorrow. 
So friends and family, I am sending you a challenge, I challenge you to take a 30 minute walk everyday.  Put your kids in the strollers, grab your spouse, put a leash on your dog or whatever and just give yourself this 30 minute gift.  Rain or shine do it!! Not only will you notice a change in yourself but you will notice a change in your relationships with your kids, spouse and others.  You will feel more grounded and at peace.  So grab your shoes and lets all go for a walk! xxoo

Monday's Suck!

Hello Blog World!!!!

I am sorry that I have been remiss in tending to my blogging garden, aw hell lets be real this garden is freakin dead y'all..lol..Well I am back and I thought instead of regaling you with my usual life wisdom's and sometimes ramblings, I would entice you with a little short story I wrote for a contest put on by the Indie Chicks, an online women's magazine.  I have not delved into the world of short story writing since I don't know, high school maybe, so be kind will ya with your comments! ;)  ENJOY!!!

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Monday’s Suck!

The blaring alarm clock pierces Charlotte’s eardrums, jarring her from her much  needed slumber. She reluctantly rolls over and smacks the snooze button with  all the strength she can muster. “Dear God, it is too early” she mutters into her deflated pillow. Charlotte takes one last sigh and rolls over, throws the duvet off of her pajama clothed body and gets herself out of bed, takes a stretch and a yawn and shuffles herself off to the bathroom.

Charlotte takes a look at herself in the mirror, her hair is disheveled, her mouth tastes like the bottom of a birdcage, and she has smeared and partially worn off make-up with a small bit of some unknown crusty goop in the corner of her eye. In the upper right hand corner of the mirror there is a little post it note with the quote “40 is Fabulous!” hand scrawled across its beaming yellow hue. Charlotte while rubbing her eye reads the inspirational post it and takes another look in the bathroom mirror, blinks a couple of times at the image reflecting back at her and begins to chuckle and mutter, “Yup I’m fucking fabulous alright.” She shakes her head, opens up the medicine cabinet, pulls out her toothbrush and tooth paste and begins to brush her teeth. Charlotte gets ready for her day.

Charlotte runs down the stairs trying to button up the last of the buttons on her dress shirt. She rushes into the kitchen and pours herself a cup of much needed coffee. She takes a look at the clock on the microwave, “Fuck I’m late!” Charlotte puts the lid on her travel mug, grabs her coat, purse and keys and runs out the door.

Charlotte is speed walking her way to the bus stop. “Man I really need to work out more” Charlotte thinks as her wobbling thighs and buttocks burn. Behind her she can hear the rapidly approaching familiar chugging and whirring sounds of the Number 9 bus. “Aw man not again” Charlotte breaks into her signature flailing chicken run of terror. Loud grinding and whirring sounds hunt, overtake and leave Charlotte in the dust or more literally in the drink; a cold splash of muddy puddle water leaves her drenched. “Are you effing kidding me!” Charlotte screams as she reaches the bus stop out of breath and clearly irritated. The Number 9 bus is still loading its passengers. Charlotte dripping wet and pissed off steps onto the bus and glares at the bus driver. “Oops, sorry about that sweetie” The bus driver says with a bit of a chuckle. Charlotte beyond irritated, “First off, I ain’t your fucking sweetie, second off George, you’re a dick, get over yourself, you’re a fucking bus driver not a brain surgeon!” “Excuse me I am NOT a bus driver I am a Transport Technician” Charlotte wipes her face with her soggy sleeve, puts her fare in the fare box and leans into George and says, “Oh that is right I forgot a Transportation Technician, translated means, I have a small dick so I must overcompensate by driving the biggest piece of crap machinery known to man.” Charlotte drops the last of the coins in the fare box and takes her ticket. George shakes his head and mutters “Bitch” Charlotte mutters “Dick” and walks back to her seat.  Charlotte plops down next to an unsuspecting middle aged male passenger quietly reading his newspaper. As Charlotte sits almost in defeat the man looks up from his paper, Charlotte is still dripping wet and still panting from running. The man looks at Charlotte in puzzlement. Charlotte casually looks over at the man, wipes water dripping down her face with her sleeve and gives the man a cordial half smile and says “Hey, whatcha reading, anything worthwhile in there?” The man still puzzled at her very wet and distressed attire, stares at Charlotte and blinks a couple of times before replying, “Oh you know, same old, same old, death, destruction, falling economy, who is Lindsay Lohan screwing.” Charlotte replies, “Cool” They both awkwardly turn way from each other.

The bus ride is bumpy and filled with smells that should only be manufactured during wartime in a top secret facility and not coming from within the human body. Finally, Charlotte sees her stop and rings the bell. She gets up and begins to walk to the front of the bus, suddenly out of nowhere George slams on the brakes and Charlotte goes flying and lands in the sturdy lap of an attractive, dark haired, dark eyed well dressed man. The man is texting; Charlotte is now sitting on said phone. “You gotta watch that first step she is a doozy” Charlotte sheepishly says with an awkward laugh. The man just blankly stares at her. Just then, the phone wedged underneath Charlotte’s butt and the man’s lap rings. Charlotte casually reaches underneath her posterior and yanks out the damp cell phone and hands it to the man, “Gives new meaning to butt dialing huh” Charlotte says with a nervous laugh. The man gives Charlotte an awkward smile. “Can you get off of me now, I have to take this” Charlotte grabs the pole and rolls herself off of the man, pulls down her skirt and staggers her way to the front of the bus. George is laughing. Charlotte glares and mutters “Dick” George continues to laugh, “Watch that first step now, it can be a doozy” and continues to laugh.Charlotte mocks George with a fake laugh and exits the bus. She looks down at her watch, “Shit I am so late!” Charlotte proceeds into her flailing chicken run.

The blaring and piercing ring of the alarm clock awakens Charlotte from her much needed slumber. Charlotte looks at the clock and decides to throw it across the room. Charlotte rolls over onto her stomach and mutters into her deflated pillow, “Dear God, it is too fucking early!” Monday’s always come too fucking early.

Critical Thinking: Has Our Society Lost It?

Kony2012, by now all of you know or have heard of the Kony2012 viral video and its subsequent backlash and public humiliation of its filmmaker Jason Russell. Now before you jump on the for or against Kony bandwagon let me make clear this is not what this blog is about.
Like many of you I too participated in the spread of this video. I too had the infamous knee jerk reaction to its carefully edited albeit overly simplified humanitarian message and I hit the share button. I believe in the effort to raise awareness and the subsequent upsurge of youth joining forces to unite and actively participate in grassroots activism. By hitting the share button I too felt positive about helping be part of the catalyst to spread awareness of human rights violations occurring in Uganda. However, once I sat back and saw the surge in popularity of this video, It made me ask myself, besides this video what do most if not all of us really know what is actually going on in this foreign country? Have any of us done any research so that we maybe better informed to make an informed decision to participate in spreading awareness concerning an individual we virtually don't know anything about. The answer was no, we hadn't.
Is Joeseph Kony a bad person, by all accounts and purposes, yes he is. Will simply getting rid of him fix all of the issues surrounding the violence and abuse being orchestrated by the LRA, no it will not. The issues going on in Uganda and now the Congo are very complex. A virtual civil war has been raging in this country for many years, how do I know this, I did some research.

The landscape of journalism and media has forever been altered due to the onslaught of the Internet and the subsequent ever reaching popularity of social media. We no longer rely on newspapers or news stations to get our world news, no we log onto Facebook and Twitter to do that. This has become a double edged sword. The instantaneousness of information is amazing and plentiful. However, how much is too much? We are constantly being bombarded with information and images that our attention spans have dwindled to almost nothing, if you don't get my attention in a few seconds, I'm moving on. It is almost like we have become numb, we actively try to filter out only the information that we assume pertains to us and ignore those that do not. Secondly, many if not almost all of us casually press send/share to videos and links and photos that are posted on social media outlets, without actively viewing them in their entirety, innocently believing them to be true without any verification to its authenticity. Where has our critical thinking gone? Many of us just accept things at face value as truth, after all if it's on the Internet it must be true right?

Consequently, you and I are now becoming the "journalists" of society, yet we are not held to the same level of ethical standards as actual journalists are. So I beg the question, should we be held to same journalistic standards and if we break these should we be held accountable just as a journalist would? It is an interesting quandary. We live in a society where there in essence are no safety nets shielding and sifting through the garbage to reveal to us to what the actual "truth' is. Are we equipped as individuals to do that job on our own? I think we are, ONLY if we are prepared to do the work, ie research to find it. It clearly seems we are living in a Brave New World, doesn't it. xxxoo

Turning 40 Is The New Black Right???

At least that is what I am telling myself anyways. This year I am turning 40 years old, the big 4-0, middle age, over the hill, getting ready for the inevitable dirt nap. Ok, ok those last couple were a little extreme but I have to say it kinda is how I am feeling. I don''t know why this birthday is affecting me the way it is, but it is. I think a major part of it is I am not nearly anywhere near the accomplishments I assumed I would have achieved by this impeding age milestone. I thought I would be married or at least in a loving committed relationship, a couple of kids, own my own house and have a thriving career in the film industry. Sounds easy and achieveable right? Well, nope to all accomplishments.
I guess I am feeling a bit defeated, kicked around by life a bit. I know, I know, calling pity party for one, pity party of one. I know that age is just a number and you are only as old as you feel, I get it, I really do, I am just not feeling it right now that is the problem. I guess what I am trying to say is I need to come up with a new set of goals and accomplishments I need to accomplish and not dwell on ones that have passed for now. New goals and new perspectives that is what I need. But how do I go about getting it?
First off I am in the process of making an about face and starting a brand new career hopefully in public relations if I get accepted into the Continuing Studies Program at Simon Fraser University. So, new career goals, check. I have started a new exercise and eatting healthy plan so I can be happier and healthier in myself and my outlook, check. This new found outlook will allow me to be open to meeting a new somebody, and possibly that special someone, check. So here's hoping the universe is listening to what I am putting out there. Life really is about the journey isn't it. Well thus far this journey has many twists, turns, bumps, obstacles and forks. It definately has made my crazy life interesting, frustrating and rewarding. I honestly, wouldn't of had it any other way. This life maybe crazy, but its my life, all of it, good the bad and sometimes the ugly. It has helped to shape and mould me into the woman I am today. The crazy, spontaneous, emotional, unpredictable, funny, sassy and beautiful approaching 40 year old woman. So come on universe get your fire extinguisher ready, 40 lit candles is quite the blaze. But this time instead of quickly blowing them out, I am chosing to bask in its firey glow. xxoo

"Self Sabotage" My Oldest But Not So Dearest Friend

Just when I think I have a handle on my life, career, weight, relationships...WAMMO self sabotage stops by to rear its ugly head. I have focus, direction and a path as to where I want and need my life to go but I just can't seem to get from point A to point B. I have the greatest of intentions and desperately want to fulfill them but I constantly fall back on old self destructive patterns. Take my weight for example, I was successful in losing half of the weight I put on during my depression and self loathing, but that hit a stand still for quite sometime. I got comfortable and again I stared eating foods I know I shouldn't have and lost the drive to workout and came up with any and all excuses I could think of. The result I have put back on 15 pounds of the 35 I lost.
Now lets take my screenwriting, I have been "working" on my first feature length script for the past 2 years. I put working in quotation points because really it is more something to procrastinate and put to the side then something I have been actively working on. Now if this is something I believe I am passionate about why do I allow other forces to deter me from completing and successfully pursuing them?
Is it that I feel I don't deserve success or is that I am afraid of it? Failure does suck but in a twisted kind of way it is comfortable to me, its what I know. What am I afraid of? I thought after taking these last four years of introspection and self reflection I would have delved into and discovered just about every nook and cranny of my inner most thoughts, feelings, fears, likes, dislikes etc, but apparently I'm wrong. I must say I am kind of at a lose right now as to what direction I need to go in to finally slay these last dragons of self doubt. I guess what I can take from this is that maybe it is never over. This is going to be a life long struggle and battle within myself. Gone are the days when I would scrap my knee or bruise my arm and my Mother would come in and kiss it better and make me homemade chocolate pudding to make things all right with the world again. No today, I need to put on the shiny armor, sharpen my mighty sword and muddy myself slaying these dragons of fear and self doubt all on my own, wish me luck.